As the old saying goes “actions speak louder than words,” and while I believe that’s true, I do so love words as well. I love words in languages I don’t even understand. I love words in times of happiness, of sadness, of fear and of longing—and there are some particular words I favor in times of frustration! As an accomplished talker, I obviously love when I get to say the words, but I also need to hear words from others.
However, the words my husband spoke to me early in our courtship struck terror in my heart and I feared they spelled doom for our budding romance. Until the moment he uttered those devastating words, I had been inching closer and closer to falling head over heels for him. After his declaration, I stopped myself mid-tumble.
One evening at a party, while I was drinking caipirinhas and dancing to samba music with some Brazilian friends, I noticed that he wasn’t really joining in the revelry. When I sat down on the couch next to him and asked what was wrong, he turned to me and said—dun, dun, dun—“I am actually a quiet person.”
My first response was to laugh in his face, as I’d known him to be anything but. He’d been so charming and engaging since I’d met him, delighting me with clever conversation for hours. But he kept insisting it was true until I finally realized he wasn’t kidding.
“What an awful thing to say to me!” I exclaimed, shocked and horrified. “You waltz into my life all handsome, sweet and funny and wait until now to tell me this about yourself?”
It would have been easier for me to accept that he was a professional hit man or a porcelain doll collector, but a quiet person? I didn’t know if I could go through that again. I’d been unhappily saddled with a quiet person for several years. That one had been so quiet he never told me he’d lost all our money and was planning to run off with a stripper. I prefer talkers.
As it turns out, my husband may not be the extreme talker I am, but he always has the exact right words I need to hear and his actions, whether grand or humble, reveal that he truly knows how to speak to my heart. This past Valentine’s Day was the perfect example.
When I’ve weathered a particularly rough storm and I say “I need a drink,” my husband knows I always mean a Diet Coke! He supports me in controlling my addiction, but he also knows that sometimes a Diet Coke is exactly what’s called for. At such times, he somehow manages to sneak one in the house without my seeing and hides it in the refrigerator for me to find as a surprise—and he always attaches a love note to it. At those moments, diamonds couldn’t mean as much to me.
Last week I awoke on Valentine’s Day to find not only a Diet Coke with love note waiting for me in the fridge, but also love notes posted on the kitchen cupboards—with a Diet Coke hidden inside each one. I collapsed laughing as tears of joy and gratitude rolled down my cheeks. Gratitude for my clever, quiet husband who knows me so well. Sweet notes of love and Diet Coke, the perfect marriage of word and deed. Who could ask for more?
P.S. My husband wants you to know he also gave me gift cards for a massage and facial—my next favorite things—and that he doles out the Diet Cokes to me strictly on an as-needed basis!
That’s lovely! What a thoughtful man. And re the being quiet thing, two talky people in a marriage can be a problem. My husband is quiet and I’m a talker when I get going! Sometimes I look at him and remember silence is ok too – and I shut the hell up! 🙂
You are so right, Gilly! We really balance each other out and meet somewhere in the middle. Thanks so much for stopping by…but next time, bring me a Diet Coke, would ya? 🙂
What a quiet treasure you have in your husband, Lee. This is clearly a case of quality vs quantity, right? Besides if he talked as much as you do, how would you get a word in edgewise? As long as he listens to you, it seems like the perfect match!
Or at least as long as he PRETENDS to listen to me, we’re good! 🙂 But, now I’m thinking that since I can’t talk while chugging Diet Coke, do you think there’s a method to his madness?
A very touching and original post, Lee, with…just the right amount of words. 🙂
Thanks, Dave! And sometimes, he mixes it up a little and brings home a Coke Zero! We’re wild that way.
I love that Lee…I took a Management Communication class 20 years ago where we talked about the communication of men and women — one class I remember to this day…I think it fits your situation. The theory was that men talk and talk to you and once they decide you are the one…they have nothing more say. You are it and they’ve found out everything they need to know about you….LOL
Hah! I think you may have hit the nail on the head here, Mary! Once they’ve figured the thing out, there’s no sense in beating a dead horse. 🙂
What a sweet story! Perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Thank you, Laurie! I know the artificial sweetener in the Diet Coke is bad, but the sweetness of my husband is good! 🙂
Sounds like he is skilled at hearing, both your words and your heart. I’ll take that over a talker any day.
Hey, Gina, somehow my original reply has disappeared. Thank you so much for stopping by. And, yes, I think I made a pretty good deal taking the non-talker this time around!
Your husband sounds a bit similar to mine! He’s definitely the romantic one. He obviously knows you very very well!
I think we both lucked out in the husband department! The love notes were so sweet, but the Diet coke was the best! 😉