I’ve often heard that over time married couples begin to resemble each other. Aside from the two whiskers that recently sprouted to the right of my upper lip, I have not noticed my appearance sliding in my husband’s direction. Now I would not mind one bit if my fluffy midlife thighs morphed into his muscular ones without my even having to mouth the word “Pilates,” though I probably would shave them. Well, in the summer, anyway.
More concerning, however, is the new behavior I have sprouted. All my adult life I have been a staunch opponent of the recliner for two reasons. 1) Despite Brooke Shields’ best attempts, I could never completely erase the image of the bulky 1970s Herculon models from my mind, which were anathema to my home decorating sensibilities. And 2) Recliners always represented old-people dozing and drooling to me. I’m a huge fan of the nap which is what a couch is for. Lie down and sleep like you mean it, dammit. Commit! But dozing off and on in a recliner, jaw gaping open, with a dried saliva streak down your chin—well, in my mind that was the was the stuff of nursing home nightmares.
For years I held the line against my first husband’s desire for a recliner in which to plant himself to watch racing on TV. Maybe that’s why the marriage broke up although I think it had more to do with his secretly quitting his job, losing all our money and subsequently running off with a stripper. But, who knows, my anti-recliner stance could have been a contributing factor.
At any rate, I’m talking now about my present husband whose sleep switch is activated the instant his butt touches down in an arm chair in front of the TV. For the first few years of our marriage, I tried to ignore his arm chair “dozing,” wherein his head would loll about from side to side, bob forward, chin to chest, and then violently jerk backwards, accompanied by a startled slurping sound each time. This became his nightly and weekend ritual, and not only did it drive me nuts, I also began to fear that one of those times his head would snap right off like the end of green bean.
I had to face the music and admit that it was time for a recliner. I turned to the internet and was pleased to find that Brooke was not joking when she touted the stylishness of the modern-day La-Z-Boy furniture lines. High style indeed, with a high price tag to match. Eventually, though, I found a recliner whose style and price fit my taste and budget, and I ordered it to surprise my husband.
As pleased as he was, the biggest surprise has been on me. I gave the chair a short test drive the first day to check its comfort, but readily handed the keys over to my husband. Then a curious thing began to happen. Arriving home before my husband each day, I found myself drawn to the recliner to watch the early news as it was so conveniently situated in front of the TV. I felt a bit conspicuous at first, but little by little, became more at ease (which is, after all, the point of this piece of furniture). After about a week of sitting upright, I thought how silly it was to have a recliner and not, well, recline, so I did it. One push and my torso magically tilted back and my feet lifted up, effortlessly and at the perfect angle. It was comfort heaven, and I felt a little giddy with the thrill of it all.
This became my secret ritual for a few weeks until the unthinkable happened—I dozed off! In the recliner! And my husband came home and caught me, drooled-faced and snoring! Oh, the shame and endless ridicule I endured. But, long story short, I am now rearranging the furniture to accommodate the second recliner I have on order. I’ve also ordered a pack of drool bibs. The process of merging two spouses into one has undeniably begun, and I’m really okay with it. I’ve accepted the two whiskers, and I’ve even accepted that I am a drooling dozer. Now if only my thighs would get with the program!
Oh, Lee, how you made me laugh with this post! I am the first one to doze off when the TV is turned on, and I have resisted the idea of a recliner. I remember visiting with my parents when they were alive, and cherishing the moments I watched them both asleep in their duel La-Z-Boys, mouths agape, drool glistening in the sunset. Since reading your post I realize a universal truth. I need a recliner. I want a recliner. You have released my inner recliner. Let me know how this goes for you. And maybe do a review of the best recliners?
My youth is definitely in recline now, Molly! I’m sitting on the angle and not even apologizing for it! Can Depends and house coats be far behind?
Hilarious!!! I am reading this as I sit in my recliner. My mom went through the same and now both my parents have recliners.
I know, they really ARE quite nice! I couldn’t believe I dozed right off at 4:00 in the afternoon…and got caught!
Oh Lee – what a fun post! We haven’t succombed to the recliner as yet but don’t think it’ll be long. Lying on the sofa dozing off seems to be our present speciality!
I don’t like to brag, but I am a skilled sofa napper! Apparently, I am developing a talent for recliner dozing too!
HAHA.. my husband bought some “pretend” leather recliners with stylish ottomans, all of which are on stylish bent metal stands. But seriously, who notices this when drooling and snoozing shamelessly?
His ottoman is so worn out the leather is shiny from endless feet action. And if I accidentally sit in his chair I keep thinking the White Rabbit will show up in that deep hole. HAHA.
Once again Lee, you are laugh out loud funny.
Well, isn’t he swanky? Jorge’s is fabric and I think I had better Scotchguard it soon because I have already found candy wrappers stuffed under the cushion. Can chocolate stains be far behind? “Pretend” leather was a wise choice for wiping clean!
Very few bloggers can make me laugh out loud, and you are one of them! I look forward to your future Facebook profile picture, in your recliner with your drool bib.
Thank you so much, Mandi! If I gave you a laugh, my work is done. time to recline! 😉
So now, you need your own recliner, I think! Then you guys can be matchy matchy!!!
So fun!!
I know, otherwise we are going to fight over his. I’m trying to figure out how to fit the other one in the same room!
When my sweetie moved in 7 years ago, I put his lazy boy in the far back corner of the house, in front of a TV and named it his nook. It is the most comfortable spot in the house and a great place for a nap!
I love it! Naps in the nook sound great!
He got his recliner after all…I mean what else would a stripper do?
HAH! Although, he never asked for a pole!
Too funny! I drop fast asleep as my tosh hits the sheets too. 🙂 I LOVE my recliner …the snoozing starts there.
I am so jealous. The truth is I am battling terrible insomnia.Iit is miserable and if I could fall asleep standing, sitting or reclining, I would do it and be over the moon! Snooze away!
Yes I bought my own after looking how comfortable my husband was in his. Since I am short I was goldilocks until I found the perfect size chair. The couch wore out and I bought a recliner love seat because why nap on a couch? Embrace your recliner and enjoy a few cat naps.
Goldilocks, LOL! I hope you didn’t break Baby Bear’s recliner! A recliner love seat, ooohhhh,, that’s an idea whose time has come!
As long as it’s a stylish recliner, and you have the drool bibs I say just embrace it!
HAH! You are probably too young to remember the SNL skit with Steve Martin as Theodoric of York, but maybe you’ve see reruns. Anyway, drool buckets (so ewwww, but funny) figured prominently. I keep thinking with horror how I’ve reached that stage now!
Is this one more thing I should listen to you about, since I’m not at “that age” quite yet? Just like when I read your first book?
Yes, I hope you have learned your lesson about taking advantage of my advanced age! Get the recliner now and avoid the late midlife rush! 😉
I’m like you Lee I love the comfort of a recliner but they don’t ever go with with my decor. Perhaps I’ll have to stop back by La-Z-Boy soon and check out the variety.
I’m telling you, this new generation of recliners masquerades as nice chairs! I think I ended up getting my husband’s on wayfair.com. Good price!
Oh my gosh, all I can say is, me too! I’m sitting in my recliner right now. Granted, it isn’t leather like his (it’s a pretty linen print), but it’s reclined and I’m about to take a nap. Thanks for the giggles!
Ha! The one I got my husband is a really pretty print fabric too. I’m trying to figure out how to fit the other one in the same room because I’m hooked now! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Lee, so funny! I also have a husband who falls asleep at the drop of a remote. It used to drive me crazy. But I find at least once a week now, I start reading and begin feeling a little “drowsy.” I’ll fall asleep for a few minutes (hours? days?) in my chair. It gets embarrassing.
Your recliner sounds wonderful. Giving me ideas since I’m now find myself in the nap club…
Join the club, honey. It’s the ugly side of reclining youth that no one wants to talk about! 😉 I get mad when Jorge falls asleep at the movies in those reclining seats they have now. Hey, you can sleep at home for free!
LOL! All I can say is ME TOO! My ex-husband would lay around in a recliner all day and night (he actually slept there at night.) When I got my own place, recliners were banned. But eventually, my second husband wore me down and we got him a recliner. When I hurt my leg and needed to put it up, he graciously allowed me to rest in it. Needless to say, we now have two recliners.
That’s so funny–we had such similar experiences and both saw the light. Well, it’s easier to see when you are lying back at a 45-degree angle!
Ha! Enjoy your recliner!
I plan to, Paula! Meanwhile, I have to fight for my time slot on his chair!
Wait a minute your ex ran off with a stripper, small world! My ex was a stripper in name and ran off with a dude to be his fifth wife. This no good floozy didn’t go by the name of Cinnamon did she?
Lee, I am not going to be sexist here but take it from men when it comes to comfort in front of the TV and power naps. We have perfected this art so well that colleges should be teaching it before this generation of snowflakes grow up and take the world by storm by requiring us to sit down on bag up recycled newspaper!
Aaagh, my ex was her third husband and they divorced shortly after. Shocking, considering it was a well-considered relationship, based on honesty and trust! 😉 Well, you and I have both moved on to better things and now I even understand the art of true TV-watching comfort. PS Gary, you’ve never done ANYTHING in moderation! 😉
So is Cinnamon married to Lee’s ex husband or not?! It’s like Days of Our Lives!
I believe she’s now married to Dr. Drake Ramoray’s evil twin.
Haha – full circle back to Joey, Chandler & the recliner.
Haha – you’ll be just like Chandler & Joey! I have ensured that I have never sat in a recliner for fear that I will find I like them!
It’s a very slippery slope–well, not so much if it’s not leather or vinyl, but dangerous still. I’ve been humbled by the perfect 45-degree comfort angle!
As I write this, I have just awakened from a short snooze in what WAS Hubs’ recliner (and which I have appropriated). The comfort is undeniable! Now, of course, it’s time for bed…Such a funny post–and one that many of us can relate to, judging from all the comments!
Way to take over, lady! If you tell me you also control the remote, I will bow down before you! I’m a convert for sure now. Thanks for stopping by and staying awake to comment. 😉
I laughed and laughed! Too true! They really are comfy! My husband had one given to him when we were first married…I was horrified! And years I was angry he would never sit with me anywhere. And he looked so damned comfortable, never went to sleep though. About ten years ago we got matching lazyboy leather recliners that also rocked and swiveled! We weren’t even grandparents yet! But they were so awesomely comfortable and we had equal views of the tv and it felt like we were finally sitting together, albeit with a table and lamp in between for our dishes and newspapers and whatever. It was wonderful! Now in our downsized house, we bought barcoloungers with lower profile but they don’t recline as far or swivel or rock. Next time, back to something like the other ones we loved before they wore out! It’s okay, we’re grandparents now, we can rest our tired bodies well!
You have just laid out my plan for the future when we downsize even more! I don’t think I can ever go back to upright lounging again!
Oh my gosh, I am SO with you here!!! I do love my recliner and am a bit possessive of it. I admit it. 😉
And I get it now, completely! Does your husband fight you for it or sneak in when you’re out of the room?
When I was pregnant with Aurelia, we decided to get a recliner instead of a glider to make nursing easier. It was a Memorial Day Sale and they were offering BOGO 50% off but my husband was all “Nahhh, don’t need two!” Heh yeah about 12 hours after our first recliner was delivered, he was calling the furniture store to see if we could still get the BOGO deal. haha
I know! It just takes one flip of the the legs up and back in recline to convince you! I feel like such a fool for having held out so long. 😉 If I’d started reclining earlier in life, I could have accomplished even less than I did!