As is likely the case for many of us, my upbringing included a strong emphasis on the notion of limitations. For much of my early life I accepted the “truth” that there was a finite amount of such commodities as love, recognition and happiness without ever challenging it. Such a belief system, based on scarcity, necessarily dictates that not only will there be “haves” and “have nots,” but also that the “haves” can win only at the expense of the “have nots.” After all, if there is only so much pie to go around, one more piece for me means one less piece for someone else. Likewise, an extra piece for someone else means I will go without. This construct is the perfect breeding ground for fear, competition and guilt, and for a long time I swung wildly between blind ambition—desperate to grab one of the limited opportunities—and crippling guilt—for having taken someone else’s chance in the process.
That was certainly not a satisfying way to live, and I am thankful that my eyes and heart eventually opened to a much different view of life, one of much greater spiritual ease and fulfillment, based on faith, gratitude and unlimited possibilities for all. For the past several years I have consciously tried to live my life from this perspective and have found support everywhere from orthodox religions that proclaim a loving God of infinite miracles to metaphysical teachings of an abundant, giving “universe.” And yet, those old beliefs die hard. From time to time, they rear their ugly head and I find myself panicking over different situations in my life, variously berating myself for missing the boat on some opportunity or apologizing for having caught it while others were left standing on the shore. My mind was wrestling with these old issues the other night just before I fell asleep. That’s when I had an amazing little dream, one I view as a gracious gift from my subconscious.
I dreamed about the little fishing booth at the old-fashioned amusement park in my hometown. The booth is set up so that there is a constant stream of plastic fish “swimming” by. You have only to dip your rod in the water and you are guaranteed a catch which you can then exchange for a really cool prize, like a plastic spider ring or even a jangly ankle bracelet. It’s impossible to lose at the fishing booth; the supply of fish is endless, ever-flowing and available to all. There are only “haves,” only winners.
What if it really is that simple? What if we have only to do our part—put our rod in the water—to open up an abundant and generous world of possibilities? What if the prevailing notion of taking what we can, while we can before someone beats us to it is wrong? What if giving to others doesn’t leave us with less, but maybe even more? What if—and this is one I still struggle with—letting our light shine doesn’t diminish anyone else’s light? What if we can all shine? What if being our true, authentic selves in all our glorious imperfection is the best gift we can present to the world, to God and to ourselves?
This is what I believe despite my occasional late-night slip ups. The next time I find myself awake at 2 a.m., full of self-doubt and recrimination, I’m going to take a deep breath, close my eyes and let my mind float off to the little fishing pond and find my truth again. And who knows, I might finally snag myself one of those fancy ankle bracelets!
Love this, Lee! Keep on shining!
Oh, thank you, Kate! You are such an encouragement and inspiration! XOX
I love this Lee. It makes me think of Cathy and Cindy at EBWW who said there is an abundant audience for all of us writers, pointing out the billions of people available to us as potential readers. And I too struggle with the concept of not having enough or comparing myself to someone else who has more because of course they deserve it and I don’t. The Good Book says not to hide your light under a bushel basket. The world is full of fish and there is plenty for all of us. Let’s go fishing my friend!
I know, Molly, why do we think it’s “spiritual” to not stand out, to not shine, when that’s the exact opposite of what we are supposed to do! You are a shining star and beacon in my eyes! XOX
Lee, How did you know I needed this right now? Its easy to be caught in the “limitation blues.” Thank you.
I’m so glad it gave you a little boost. It’s so hard to keep our thoughts from going down that dead-end road sometimes. Your writing has lifted me so many times I’m glad I could return the favor! XO
A very good way to stay positive when those 2am thoughts get us! We had ducks but it was the same thing and I loved it as a child.
Those middle-of-the-night attacks of doubt and regret are so hard to hold at bay and tame! Now, I’ll tell myself, “Think fish!” 😉
I love the idea of the fish pond stocked with unlimited fish! I believe in possibility! But it was a hard won belief, and there are frequent regressions to limiting concepts. Thank you for the lovely reminder!
Sometimes I think I forget as many times as I remember to focus on possibilities, not limitations! When you get in that good groove, though, it is such a freeing feeling, isn’t it?
What a cool and meaningful dream. I remember a similar fish game at the funfair when I was a child – we usually won a real live goldfish in a bag that we took home, put in a goldfish bowl and fed it. (It used to die the next day though🙁)
Flush! We were lucky and got to exchange the fish for a prize on the shelf. I got some of my best plastic jewelry there! 🙂
I can so relate to this, Lee!
It’s easy to say I’m going to be positive, but there are days it’s much harder than just saying it!!
Jodie
Isn’t that the truth, Jodie! And something about the middle of the night that really makes it hard to focus on the positive! We just have to keep remembering to get back on track when we catch ourselves.
Wow, always such inspiration Lee! I’m going to focus on all the have’s today. 🙂
Thank you! Yes, sometimes we really have to make a conscious effort to see things “clearly.” I still lose hold of that vision too often!
For many of us, it really IS that simple. I love this post so much, Lee.
Thank you, Carol! It really is and I get frustrated with myself when I let those old fears creep in and take hold!
This is such a beautiful thought. I love it when simplicity shines through as the answer.
Thanks, Christina! Now if I can just remember it! 🙂
This is wonderful Lee. I wonder how I can teach my girls that the light can shine on everyone so they will stop fighting each other for the spotlight — get them to think beyond themselves. Of course, they are children, but a mom can dream, right? What a great lesson that will be.
Sharing the spotlight is hard at their age! They are both shining stars and I know that because I know their mamma!
I wish my dreams were as uplifting as that one. Next time I can’t sleep, I’m going to count fish in a pond rather than sheep in a field. The sheep creep me out, to be quite honest, and I’m sure they contribute to my insomnia!
To be honest, I only like fish of the plastic variety (that can be exchanged for prizes!). This will either help you warm to sheep or completely send you over the edge.
Haaahahaha, I was actually about to comment on this amazing post, but that video just caught all my attention. But, anyhow,I looooove your blog and your write-ups! This will surely not be my last visit here 🙂 You are an awesome writer!!!
I know!!! The sheep, like, wth??? I must have watched that crazy thing 50 times and now I can’t get the “song,” complete with bleeeeeats out of my head. Thanks for stopping by. XO
Love this!! Letting our light shine everywhere and helping others along the way! There is so much strength in that.
Yes! Surely that has to be why we are here. That and to eat salted caramel stuff. 😉
Well put. Models in the world where the emphasis is on spreading wealth and creating enough for everyone, putting more in so everyone can get more out, certainly suggests that it is effective. It is in the models where we push the idea that there is not enough, that it is dog eat dog, that the haves are deserving and should not have to share, etc, where it all becomes a self fulfilling prophecy
It is so much better when everybody gets a turn, isn’t it? let’s keep shining our lights!
This reminded me of high school where I ran the fishing pond at a high school fair we put on for younger kids. Everybody wins and has fun while they are doing it!
I love the win-wins, baby! I don’t get enough of those, that’s for sure!