I have been teaching English as a Second Language classes to adults for fifteen years. In that time, I have met and made friends with hundreds of people, from Afghanistan to Zanzibar and just about everywhere in between. I’ve learned how to say “Happy Birthday” in Swahili, Vietnamese, Urdu and Hindi and have greatly expanded my French, Italian and Spanish vocabularies. But more than anything I’ve learned that, despite real cultural, religious and political differences, we are still so similar underneath it all. Parents the world over worry about providing for their children; husbands from everywhere joke about their wives shopping too much while all the wives roll their eyes at such stereotyping. And grandmas from Burma to Bosnia mist up when talking about their grandchildren.
For six hours a day in the little United Nations of my classroom, there is world peace. There is respect, kindness, tolerance and much laughter as a wildly diverse group of individuals unites to defeat a common enemy—the crazy, confusing and convoluted English language. Now before you cue a chorus of “Kumbaya,“ understand that I am no Pollyanna, naively believing that this lovefest will spill beyond the classroom walls, cover all the Earth and bring all division and conflict to an end. But, every now and then, I do get a small confirmation that my unassuming little ESL classes can build bridges where none existed before.
A few years ago, I had two young women in my class that, on the surface, appeared as different as day and night. One was dressed head to toe in a black abaya and hijab, and the other in a cute little mini-skirt and flattering but rather form-fitting top. I purposely sat them next to each other as conversation partners because I knew both young women were first-time mothers to small infants. At first, they regarded each other with a bit of confusion, even suspicion, and, I think it’s fair to say, judgment. They worked together, but stiffly and formally, and rarely had any social conversation between them. After a few days, I made a point of asking each about her baby and feigned great surprise that their children were about the same age. When I asked to see photos of their babies, out came the cell phones and by the end of class, the ice between them was beginning to melt. In a matter of days, they were chatting away, commiserating about problems with diapers, doctors and mothers-in-law as well as the simultaneous exhaustion and exhilaration that accompany motherhood. I was delighted that my little classroom social experiment had worked.
Fast forward to yesterday. I was walking to my car after class when I heard people calling my name. I turned and saw two women in the distance waving at me. I didn’t recognize them from that distance, but I waved back and began walking toward them. When they came into focus, I realized with a skip of my heart that they were the two young women from my “experiment.” In talking with them I learned that they had both taken some time off from classes to care for their children and now were back and in the same class again. They had kept in touch with each other and had become very good friends. Their children had even had play dates together. I can’t begin to put into words the joy that this news gave me.
“And it all started in our little ESL class,” I said, jokingly.
“Yes, Miss Lee, it’s like you are the matchmaker for friends!” they both said, laughing.
We said good-bye and they hurried off to class, chatting and giggling like schoolgirls, which technically they are right now.
As for me, I walked to my car wearing a smile that stayed with me all day . . . and, yes, I admit, I couldn’t help humming a few bars of “Kumbaya” on my way home.
That post just made my day! My grandmother taught ESL classes 40 years ago and it was the joy of her life. Your description of you smiling as you walked to your car humming “Kumbaya” is just priceless! I also love my teaching journey!
Thanks, Terri! I always say I get to take a trip around the world every day without every leaving the classroom. I wouldn’t mind going for real,though! 😉 I think I’ve learned just as much from my students as they have from me.
I can’t imagine how completely satisfying that had to be. What a wonderful life lesson all around. Your work must be so satisfying, Lee. How wonderful!
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Honestly, teaching ESL is so much fun, it almost never feels like work–okay, maybe on Monday morning. 🙂 Thanks so much for your comments, Barbara!
Reading this made me happy, though also a bit wistful. Mostly happy, though.
I’m so glad it was mostly happy. 🙂 It really is a rude awakening when you leave the classroom and re-enter the world, the one with walls and divides between so many groups. We have to hold onto of our hope. Thanks so much for stopping by.
As you know, my friend, that is one terrific moment amidst many. It takes a special person not only to teach ESL, but to find fulfillment in it.
You are so right, Danny. We have experience so many special moments with (and because of) our students. “No dancing!” 🙂
How wonderful that you get to work with such diverse students and you obviously do so in a creative and compassionate way. I love your friendship matchmaking story.
Thanks so much, Molly. They had actually learned the word “matchmaker” in my class when we were talking about dating and marriage customs. I was as excited about their remembering that vocabulary word as I was to learn of their continuing friendship!
This is so beautiful and I really admire your experience. I was most definitely not skilled at teaching ESL learners (and it’s sad that my education experience did not prepare me for it…another story) and I have so much respect for teachers who do.
Hi, Lisa, thanks so much for your kind words. Let me tell you, when I had to switch gears in midlife and teach middle school ELLs (bad divorce, MY long story), for a while, I was not prepared either–for how to teach them or how to handle the behavior! I was so happy to be able to return to my adults, much more my speed. I almost never have to tell an adult to stop the burping competition! 😉
That confirms it. We are past due for a woman president. I think the sensibility (and common sense) we bring to everything is much needed in the world today. If Hillary doesn’t make it, Lee, you’re up! PS Love love love the anecdote.
Ha, ha, we’d really be in trouble if I were running things. I can’t make a decision about where to go for lunch! But, yes, do we ever need strong women at the helm, now more than ever. I’ll cheer you on, Carol! 🙂
You have a gift! Thanks for sharing it with the world. 🙂
You are so kind, Monica. thank you. I really enjoy teaching ESL–students are so eager to learn and you are giving them something that will have an immediate impact on their lives. Learning or improving their English leads to better jobs, new career paths, schooling opportunities: choices!
Lea, This is wonderful. I’ve tutored at a local literary center for women and have always been struck by how at first we’re so exotic to each other. But you get beyond that and as mothers, daughters and sisters, we’re so much more alike. Why can’t women be in charge of this world? I believe it would be more peaceful.
It’s so true–ten minutes together and women who don’t have one bit of language in common are finding ways to communicate and relate to each other. We need women in more positions of leadership! Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
“For six hours a day in the little United Nations of my classroom, there is world peace”. So nice! We all have so much in common. It was so nice of you to recognize the two moms with babies. I could picture them both taking out their cell phones to share their pictures.
We moms are insufferably proud of our babies, no matter the language, country or even planet! 🙂 I’ll bet martian moms are the same. It was very heart-warming to see them bond and relate across cultures. Thanks for stopping by, Lori!
Wow! This is a wonderful story. I love your corner of world peace. We need you in more than just one classroom. And I expect birthday wishes in many languages 😉
Grazie, gracias, merci and thanks, Anna! Don’t you wish peace were just that simple–sometimes I think maybe it is, but we muck it up with so much of our “stuff.” I also sometimes think world peace may be more likely that in-law peace!
I love this and it clearly brings you so much joy! I truly admire what you do. We need more people like you.
Thank so much, Faye. I’m so glad you stopped by and glad you enjoyed this piece.
Thanks, Faye! It’s a really fun and rewarding (of course, not so much financially!) job. Every day I feel like I’ve traveled around the world without every leaving town! Thank you so much for stopping by.
I hereby elect Lee Gaitan, matchmaker extraordinaire, teacher, philosopher, unofficial UN ambassador and all-around nice lady to be the first woman president. I love this story and got goosebumps visualizing these two strangers becoming friends.
You could melt the icebergs of the world, Lee. Thanks for sharing this marvelous story.
Awww, look who’s talking about being an all-around nice lady! The other teachers and I have had so many wonderful experiences over the years in our ESL classrooms. This one was particularly gratifying and sweet. Babies bring everyone together! Thanks for stopping by, Cathy. XO
How simple it really is for us to realize our shared humanity and the fact that we’re much more alike than we believe.
I loved this story, Lee. There should be a lot more teachers like you.
Thanks, Corinne. I get so much more from my students than I give! They are amazing.