Ah, here we are in the most glorious of months, morning air crisp and clean, afternoons bright and sunny. It must be October—or as I call it, Choctober, with 31 uninterrrupted days of Halloween candy sales. Forget crimson, gold and russet, my favorite Choctober colors are milk, dark and extra dark. All of which makes what I am about to say even more painful and hard to believe: For a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the inability to zip my jeans, I have decided to make October 2015 a…wait for it…chocolate-free month. Did you hear me? I said chocolate free, not free chocolate. Oh, would that it were that! But, I really do mean chocolate free, as in my mouth, stomach and very soul will spend 31 days with nary a taste of the blissfully sweet, smooth, soothing sensation that chocolate is for me.
If you know me at all, I will pause here to give you a chance to finish snickering, chortling and out and out guffawing at the idea of my going without chocolate for a month. It’s true that I haven’t exactly been a screaming success in that department. I’ve been trying to give up chocolate for Lent for the past 47 years. So far, I’m 0 for 47. Each time by about day three, I throw Jesus under the Hershey bus and just say an extra Act of Contrition.
But this time, I’m already two days past my previous record, and I intend to stick it out. I know well where the road paved with good intentions leads, but I’m determined to find a fork in that familiar road and follow it to a better destination. The truth is that sometime after my mother died, I began dealing with my lingering grief by self-medicating with every form of refined sugar in the known universe, although chocolate remained my drug of choice. Funny thing, it didn’t bring her back, and it left me feeling as bad physically as I did emotionally. Yet, I couldn’t seem to rein in the daily choco-sprees…until the change of seasons this fall brought me face to face with the consequences—a closet full of pants that didn’t fit. And since I’d already blown my new clothing allowance on high end chocolate, I was left with little choice but to get serious about detoxing from the products of the cocao bean. (Apparently, vanity has a much stronger hold on me than religious tradition.)
I look forward to regaining control over my addiction and to greeting November with both looser pants and lower blood sugar. Victory will surely taste as sweet as the finest bon bon. And, just FYI, while I still maintain that orange and green M&Ms contain beta carotene, I am willing to concede that carrots and spinach might be superior sources…at least until the end of this month!
my October is filled with him attention as well. The good news? Mine is not less chocolate so I am your go to accountability girl 🙂
Okay, let’s report back here on November 1. Maybe I’ll even zip my pants for the occasion!
I do like your humor. I too have been addicted to that most wonderful tasty bean for sure, along with it’s sister coffee. Yes, I still long for those days when I can fit into those old jeans that don’t fit.
I have to try to contain the damage I’ve caused, Susan! Let’s hope I can break the Hershey hold!
All kudos to you my dear – I’m not a chocolholic but I still wouldn’t want to go a whole month without my obligatory row or so for supper! You have my utmost admiration at your stamina – good luck!
Don’t get too excited–it’s early days! 🙂 I hope I can report back good news on November 1!
This is too funny Lee! I hope you have great success this month and that your jeans fit come November!I loved the part of throwing Jesus under the Hershey bus! Hilarious!
I’ll let you know how my big plan goes! I hope my too-tight pants can convince me to do what Jesus couldn’t pull off! 🙂
I’m there with you Lee. My daughter was in rehab a few states away. I cleaned out/up her room so all semblance of her “old” life would be gone when she got out. I threw away a full bottle of Morphine and a full bottle of Percocet. They did absolutely nothing for me. BUT THEN I found a box of chocolate – Hershey kisses!!!!! I devoured those little treats one-by-one in just a few short hours. I’m rooting for you!!
I hope all is well with your daughter now. It’s funny how I can have such discipline in some areas, but am ridiculously helpless in the face those stupid kisses! (Or one green M&M!) Thanks so much for writing!
It is funny how we can have different levels of discipline around different things. I do believe that it’s better to try to replace an old, bad habit with a new, good one rather than just try to get rid of the old one. Replace chocolate with jumping jacks? 🙂
I know–I can be so determined and committed in some endeavors and hopeless in others. I think this was so hard for me to get control of this time because it was so tied up with grief and trying to find a way to soothe myself. And, yes, I agree, replace a not-so-great habit with a better one. So, what do you think about replacing chocolates with caramels? 🙂 Noooo, I’m upping the water and work-outs in place of the afternoon Hershey spree. Thanks for writing!
Good luck with your chocolate-free efforts. I’m a dark chocolate M&Ms fanatic. Plus dark chocolate Raisinettes are my favorite too.
Oh, you are so right, Rasinets are amazing little buggers. I am a very cheap chocolate date. I require nothing exotic. Just Peanut M&Ms. And the mint Xmas ones. Or Hershey kisses. Oh, and thanks for reminding me, Rasinets. Wait, also Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. And Peppermint Patties.
Okay, must…stop…thinking…in…chocolate.
Wow! What a rocky road (ice cream) you are traveling for the next 30 days. I wish you a (peanut butter) cup full of courage. I’m sure that the experience will give you peace like a dove (bar). Great post. Loved the line about throwing Jesus under the Hershey bus. *Snicker, Snicker.*
You are diabolical, but clever! 😉 Just see if I write you any more country songs, girl! Meanwhile, I’ll try not to godiva in a bowl of contraband.
Double whoppers!! No more country songs and no Godivas. I’m feeling a bit dark (chocolate). 🙂